Redesigning

It's been a lot since I wrote something here. But don't worry, clearly I haven't died... yet. And I don't plan to do so anytime near, no. But things have been sooooo busy that I find it amazing that I'm still standing.

Before I forget about it, YES! I redesigned my blog, it's quite awesome like this now, I think it fits my mood and current situation. What is it? I guess love and stability, or at least some kind of calmness, even if it isn't for the whole time. Life has gone through a lot of redesigning as well, and I think it's still on that process.

I like this twist life has taken and how it's developing. There's lots of work, diversity on it, something that seems to be working out with the rest of my activities, and even having more social life. But it's all so tiring too! Kind of hard to keep up with everything, and I think I'm not getting enough sleep, but that's been a constant so maybe I shouldn't be so worried about it. It seems that I lost contact with a dear friend who helped me to get my actual job and triggered all this good stuff happening to me right now. I really don't know how I should feel about everything.

In the past I wrote about making decisions, sacrificing something here and there, forget about a dream for a little while... And I'm well aware of the consequences, gains and loses of that, I've had to make lots of decisions, but gee, some hurt so much. This confused brain of mine can't still figure out if this is the right path, if this was really meant to happen, if this is one of those tests and obstacles or all of the above. I just think I owe a lot to my friend, but maybe, just maybe, he's not seeing it the same way right now. I don't think I should forget about him, or put him aside for now... but maybe I have to. I'm only sure that I'm not sure about it.

Are bad things supposed to happen to get the good things too? Is it true that karma has to be equilibrated? Well, I don't even have enough time right now to think more about all this. And I still like so much my job and that it makes me tired like this... I should be crazy... Ok, I am, you already knew that.

Anyhow, the cherry on top is a sweet love, and just like this fruit, it's intense, sweet, alluring and energizing. Nice fuel to keep all this trip ongoing, right? I just hope it's enough for, let's say, a trip across at least two countries. I know it will, and at least I'm sure about something!

Redesigning is going to take a lot more of time, it seems, so I can get something close to my utmost desires. Or what do you think?

Decisions, decisions

So here I am, sitting not in front of my computer, totally bored, hungry, hot, and a little bit depressed.

Isn't it always a dilemma when you want to do something and in order to get it you must resign to what you really really want to do? I mean, we always have a major dream in our minds, it grows up with time, we take small steps to get to it during a fair amount of time, we may even, preferably, choose a professional career related to that dream, so we can get there kind of easier and faster. But then the oh, so cruel reality, shows us we may not be fit for that, or maybe it's just that we haven't fought enough yet.

But still there must be a way... how to start to get to it? It may be as simple as... forget about your dream.

WAIT, WHAT?

Yes, but probably it's just a temporary course of action. It's so hard to get there... but the only way is the hard way, or at least for most of us. I wish we all could be born in a gifted craddle, have an easy life, get all the commodities we may need. But the truth is we just can't.

Aaah, why do we have to start getting the worst jobs ever? I know of someone who just pulls snow off the roads during the winter, by hand and plow, on his own feet sinking down the cold snow, getting freezing cold, but if he didn't do that he'd certainly starve, and it's not like that's exactly what happened to him during a short period. My sister says she didn't go to a prestiged University to start working serving coffee to the bosses and answering the phones, so... she doesn't work at all. But is that a really bad thing? I think that maybe putting your health in risk isn't just the best idea. And I also think that starving shouldn't happen. And what about the people picking up the trash?, or the ones who clasify it?, or many many other jobs someone has to do, and even if it looks like a bad job, it pays.

Dreams oftenly seem to be unreachable, some other times it looks like they're the best we can do, and so we should just walk to them without blinking. But then again, there must be some kind of sacrifice on the way.

Why is it always so difficult to see clearly what we want, and hence, so difficult to decide what to do to accomplish a life's dream? I don't know, for sure. I only know that right now I want to keep on trying, hard or not, to trip and learn so I can one day reach one of those goals I've set myself through my now not-so-short life.